I'm not talking frightening in terms of crime, or in terms of anything like that. Though numbers related to those things are scary-I'm going to talk about something that is also frightening for many. That thing is love. I always see posts floating around, with girls posting about how they want some expensive car, or jewelry saying "How to win me over." I see guys posting things too, though, saying things in regards to buying their "bae" (I truly despise that word), all kinds of expensive things. I fear so many younger people today, heavily associate money and nice things with love, and really lack any self-worth/respect. It seems to be getting worse and worse, too.
I was never taught that money and nice things = love and a happy life. I told my husband from day one, that I would much rather be poor and madly in love, than rich and completely miserable, divorced or sleeping in separate rooms for the rest of my life. I would assume most of us feel that way. It's such a skewed take on how relationships work, and tons of money, shouldn't play a part in it. Presents and nice things can be great, but being married to the man/woman of your dreams, being loved by and committed to someone that loves you so dearly, and is capable of showing you that love just by the look in their eyes, is so much better and so much more fulfilling. Being with someone that is caring, loving, compassionate, trustworthy, funny, etc., is so much more meaningful than a boatload of cash. Money does not equal the true value of a relationship.
I went through my phases of having no self-respect, not loving myself and not even knowing where to begin the steps to trying to love myself. It's a really shitty feeling, and a shitty place to be in life. It doesn't feel good. If any of you are there, I promise it gets better. Sure, I regret mistakes I made, but I was lucky enough to have a major surgery give me a huge reality check and wake me up to the world around me. It was time to change my life. The top of that list, was to stop trying to find love, and to just live my life for myself. To stop living my life in search of a man to be with, and to learn how to love and respect myself. Once I took those steps, my now-husband practically fell into my lap. It happens differently for everyone, but don't expect to be in a happy relationship, and truly love someone else, until you've learned to love yourself.
Basically, what I'm trying to say, is the girls need to stop trying to get guys attention. Unfortunately the guys whose attention you're having to fight for-aren't the type of guys you should want to be around anyways. Any human is worth way more than having to force someone to give them attention. If you find someone that you think is the one, and you're having to fight for their attention, or fight for that meaningful place in their heart, then they're not the one. You shouldn't have to fight for that. If they love you, and are worth being with, you should get it without asking. You're worth so much more than fighting for some assholes attention. Even playing hard to get, is stupid to me. You shouldn't have to "play" any bs games. Be yourself, and if that isn't enough-he/she can screw off.
Girls, please also realize you're better than posting bikini selfies on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc., If you're really wanting people to look at your face, you wouldn't let the world see what is supposed to be yours in private, with the click of a button. I see so many girls post completely insane pictures, in little to no clothing, provocatively posed, or just flat out with their boobs and butt hanging out, with some love quote for the caption. You don't want that kind of attention from boys, or anyone for that matter. (Find the MAN that thinks you're gorgeous when you just wake up in the morning, or when you decide to throw on sweats for the day.) Then, you scroll to the comments, and see a bunch of disrespectful, thirsty BOYS, saying extremely disrespectful things. But, unfortunately some young ladies just want attention, so they're happy with that. No, I'm not supporting rape culture, and saying girls are the only ones that need to make changes. That's not the truth at all. Boys need to stop being disrespectful pigs, and treating girls like they're a worthless piece of meat. Ladies, though you need to learn to love and respect yourself for the beautiful young women you are.
I can only hope my future sons and or daughters, are raised well enough by my husband and I to understand their worth and full potential. With shows out there like The Bachelor/Bachelorette, Teen Mom, Jersey Shore, 16 & Pregnant, etc., it's hard to set a good example for self-worth, or even show someone what a happy healthy relationship should be like outside of reality television. Competing with 30 other men or women for someones attention and love, shouldn't be your goal. Find that man or woman that knocks you off your feet the day you meet them, while you're walking down the street with no intent of finding them. Don't hide behind angled selfies with cleavage, pounds of makeup, or stacks of money that you think make you look desirable. Let the love come to you, and in the mean time, love and respect yourself, and the people in the world around you.
All I ask is that you realize what you're worth, and make sure your children, friends and family do, too.
xoxo Taylor
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