You want a big butt, you want a small butt, you want a six pack, you think muscles on girls are gross, you think she's too fat but you think she's too skinny. The list goes on, and on, and on....
After talking to several of my girlfriends, and more or less having absurdly long sessions of flat out venting to one another, I decided it was time to speak out about something that has started to drive me rather insane lately. This "issue" started really bothering me within the last couple of months and especially more recently when my husband and I decided to turn our lifestyles around completely and focus more on healthy eating and fitness. I posted a picture on Facebook a few months back, with two pictures of me side by side with a caption stating how amazed I was at the fact that with just healthy eating and, well... luckily a fast metabolism, I was able to shed quite a few pounds. I had friends of mine telling me I needed to go eat, go gain weight, and telling me I looked too thin. I understand being concerned. I totally get it, eating disorders are VERY real, and I'm not knocking them in any way because in this day and age it's definitely something that should be of great concern to everyone in the world. If you know me well enough, though. I love my food and I love it a lot. Luckily I have never struggled with an eating disorder, and haven't ever struggled with anything more than the body image issues every girl and woman deals with at some point in her life.
Here's my issue with all of this, though... EVERYONE HAS A DIFFERENT BODY. Has anyone else noticed over the past 2-4 years that suddenly it's really really not okay to be you? We all dealt with the BS in high school, but I'm coming to find that it just never ends. Even if we are happy and in shape and truly healthy, we have people scrutinizing us. Six months ago, having a thigh gap was the big desire and now it's turned into a big mess of shaming girls for being (healthily) thin. Guess what? I have a thigh gap. Did I try to get one? No. My body is just made this way and it's how I'm built. I can't help that I'm pushing 5'9" tall. Am I going to get shamed for being tall now, too?
I mean seriously, think about it. We all stand there and twist our arms to the high heavens trying to adjust the lighting and angle for our next Instagram selfie or Facebook profile picture to make sure we don't look "bad." Why do we do that? It's because of what the world has engrained into our minds. Nothing we do or feel is okay anymore, not even the way we look or the clothes we wear. It's all about attaining that non-existent "perfect" image that changes every 5 years, anyhow.
It's mind-blowing to me, how being yourself just isn't okay. Weight is a sensitive subject for everyone, and by everyone I mean all of us, no matter what our shape or size. It almost seems like people aren't as afraid to call out girls for being skinny as they are when someone is bigger. (Which there isn't anything wrong with being big or small, it's your damn body!!) When I had people telling me to go eat a burger, after I was just posting about how proud of myself I was, for eating healthier and really finally being content with how I looked, I honestly cried to my husband. To me, having people say things like that to me, and telling me I'm too thin hurt just as bad as when people have told me I should try losing 10 or 15 lbs. It's rude, no matter how it's worded. Thanks to the internet though, for deciding that being skinnier isn't okay, being larger isn't okay. It almost feels like, they've tried erasing this ideal of a "perfect body," but at the same time, they've forced girls to create a new image of what that "perfect body" should really look like. So what exactly is being a achieved? Be healthy. That's all there is to it. You know your body best. You know what your best feels like and looks like. Hell, talk to your doctor to figure out what a target weight should be for you, and carry on.
It even goes so far as girls that are larger chested. I have friends that have boobs a hell of a lot bigger than mine will ever be, and all people comment is "put your boobs away." Guess what? That's hurtful too. Did you ever think maybe, that no shirt but a turtleneck will cover up every last inch of cleavage on a woman with a bigger chest? Probably not, because so many people are SO quick to judge. It really makes me sad, how everyone jumps to immediately criticize for a plethora of reasons, whether it be jealousy or just flat out urge to be mean to someone. If you aren't happy with yourself, then make a lifestyle change and do something about it, or make the decision to embrace yourself and love yourself for who you are.
Obviously, you can't please everyone and no one will ever be able to achieve that, so maybe I'm sitting here complaining for no reason. The moral of the story is, unless you're going out of your way to give someone a compliment, or you know for SURE that someone is really suffering from an eating disorder or have legitimate reason to be concerned about them and would like to have an upfront and honest talk with them, just keep your mouth quiet. Spitting the words "you're fat," "you should lose a few pounds," or even "go eat something," are so hurtful, and mentally toxic to the recipients of the comment. Words hurt, no matter what. It's truly a form bullying, and those of us that deal with the crap will be the first ones to speak up and say that the words hurt.
Maybe it's time we start taking a stand and instead of bashing others for what they have or don't have or what they are or aren't, we start embracing each other. It's time we start making everyone feel like what they are is okay, and if they want to make a healthy change, then support them. Stop making each other feel like complete crap because you're jealous, or your idea of perfect, isn't what they look like.
Thanks, media for not making anything about us, how we look or how we feel, "okay."
xoxo Taylor
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